electronpusher

When people hear what I do for a living, they always say the same thing. “Oh really? I’m terrible with computers.”

Here’s the secret: we’re all terrible with computers. Most people don’t realize it, but bumbling around trying to work out how to make it do something is what we, the engineers who design and build the machines in the first place, spend most of our time doing.

So there’s the secret. 95% of the time, we don’t have a clue what’s going on with the bloody things either.

San Francisco’s wifi situation is hopeless. There just aren’t enough channels. This is why metro wifi will always fail.

Access Points
SSID BSSID Channel RSSI Type Beacon Capability DTIM Encryption Rates
“Dev” “00:18:4D:08:41:26″ 1 -89 AP 100 1041 1 WPA 12(g)
“2WIRE713″ “00:14:95:19:25:39″ 6 -89 AP 100 1073 1 WEP 12(g)
“skynet” “00:30:AB:11:A1:49″ 6 -84 AP 100 1 0 Unknown 4(b)
“bykin!” “00:0F:B5:E0:DE:A0″ 6 -74 AP 100 1073 0 WEP 12(g)
“2WIRE020″ “00:19:E4:B7:12:61″ 1 -90 AP 100 1073 80 WEP 12(g)
“Free the Net” “00:18:0A:00:F0:2C” 1 -90 AP 500 1313 1 WPA 12(g)
“Topcat” “00:16:B6:F5:A1:35″ 1 -91 AP 100 1041 133 WEP 12(g)
“GO-11B” “00:03:2F:29:F2:54″ 3 -89 AP 100 49 95 WPA 12(g)
“sflan57″ “00:02:6F:34:54:7D” 1 -89 AP 100 1 1 Open 4(b)
“Free the Net” “00:18:0A:00:F1:74″ 1 -91 AP 500 1313 1 WPA 12(g)
“2WIRE101″ “00:1A:C4:4A:74:89″ 1 -90 AP 100 1073 0 WEP 12(g)
“Happy” “00:11:24:91:A1:2B” 1 -91 AP 100 1041 1 WEP 12(g)
“boxelder” “00:1B:63:22:58:19″ 1 -91 AP 100 1041 0 WEP 12(g)
“Free the Net” “00:18:0A:01:98:53″ 1 -90 AP 500 1313 32 WPA 12(g)
“” “00:60:B3:2E:2C:F5″ 3 -87 AP 100 17 0 WEP 4(b)
“Free Public WiFi” “02:19:D2:00:00:2F” 1 -87 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“linksys123″ “66:A3:F0:56:92:40″ 1 -85 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi” “12:0C:09:1C:55:94″ 1 -90 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“linksys123P ” “0E:18:E6:EB:1E:5E” 1 -88 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi” “02:16:6F:06:3C:51″ 1 -90 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“linksys123P ” “DE:77:7C:86:27:F6″ 1 -84 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi” “02:16:6F:00:5F:30″ 1 -90 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“linksys123″ “86:0E:2B:D2:D6:00″ 1 -87 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“linksys123P ” “FA:29:3E:EC:77:5C” 1 -85 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi” “02:1B:77:02:1B:DB” 1 -89 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“linksys123 /sbin/wland 425 r ” ” 1 -88 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“linksys123 ” “B2:CE:64:CF:A7:69″ 1 -86 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi ” “02:19:D2:00:00:39″ 1 -82 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi” “CE:0A:45:79:45:0B” 1 -88 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi” “02:13:02:00:00:83″ 1 -89 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0
“Free Public WiFi” “02:1B:77:08:53:FD” 1 -91 Adhoc 0 0 0 Open 0

Clients
MAC RSSI
“00:13:CE:40:2D:40″ -89
“00:13:CE:63:A9:57″ -90
“00:17:F2:9C:96:4C” -88
“00:11:D9:02:CB:6D” -78
“00:13:CE:FA:47:ED” -90
“00:11:95:4B:14:2E” -91
“00:0E:35:75:77:96″ -89
“00:1C:B3:24:16:DF” -88
“00:14:51:E3:74:7A” -90
“00:19:7E:62:31:F4″ -89
“00:0D:88:C5:0C:7E” -86
“00:11:24:9E:FB:4E” -50
“00:16:CB:B6:94:F6″ -58
“00:16:6F:2C:D7:0E” -85
“00:04:23:67:FA:11″ -87
“00:17:F2:EC:7C:12″ -84
“00:1E:C2:2C:08:02″ -89
“00:14:A4:22:70:75″ -91
“00:0F:3D:68:01:52″ -88
“00:0D:88:C5:0A:F7″ -89
“00:0D:88:C5:0D:DA” -86
“00:10:BE:00:AF:88″ -84
“00:14:A5:2F:E4:CC” -87
“00:19:C5:3C:D1:AB” -51
“00:13:46:13:C2:66″ -90
“00:1B:FC:E9:75:AD” -87
“00:0D:88:C5:0A:D4″ -87
“00:02:78:F0:00:E3″ -89
“00:1B:FC:3B:78:FA” -91
“00:1B:77:02:02:88″ -84
“00:1D:60:86:14:BA” -89
“00:02:6F:3C:D2:C5″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:AE:B1″ -85
“00:13:46:0D:44:33″ -86
“00:0D:88:C5:13:5E” -89
“00:0D:93:F0:85:F6″ -86
“00:10:BE:00:C3:12″ -86
“00:0F:3D:62:61:BF” -90
“00:1C:B3:C6:4A:58″ -56
“00:1B:63:04:AB:EA” -90
“00:0D:88:C5:11:CA” -89
“00:10:BE:00:A6:AD” -84
“00:0F:3D:62:61:0C” -85
“00:13:46:0D:44:BD” -90
“00:11:24:AA:0B:87″ -87
“00:10:BE:00:A8:1E” -87
“00:10:BE:00:E1:49″ -88
“00:13:CE:B5:DB:04″ -89
“00:18:DE:5B:25:C5″ -87
“00:0F:3D:08:4D:F8″ -85
“00:10:BE:00:A6:EA” -89
“00:11:24:91:2A:6B” -79
“00:17:AB:50:E5:78″ -89
“00:0F:3D:62:5F:1D” -87
“00:0F:3D:62:58:F6″ -83
“00:1C:D6:B5:95:36″ -76
“00:0D:88:C5:0F:CD” -90
“00:0F:3D:62:62:4F” -90
“00:0F:3D:62:61:FB” -87
“00:0F:3D:62:5A:95″ -90
“00:13:46:0D:45:23″ -85
“00:10:BE:00:F1:4C” -88
“00:1C:B3:01:D9:63″ -87
“00:1B:EA:F4:58:97″ -81
“00:13:46:13:CB:D7″ -85
“00:16:6F:89:A5:83″ -90
“00:0D:88:C5:02:8F” -86
“00:19:E3:05:22:AF” -89
“00:16:6F:60:EF:D2″ -88
“00:13:02:D0:D0:AE” -56
“00:13:46:01:F9:C8″ -86
“00:10:BE:00:E3:EA” -89
“00:15:C1:BC:AE:0D” -89
“00:0D:88:C5:0A:21″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:BE:87″ -90
“00:0F:3D:62:62:5F” -87
“00:1E:52:20:DE:D6″ -69
“00:1B:63:F9:00:7F” -90
“00:0D:88:C5:11:E3″ -86
“00:0F:3D:62:5A:46″ -84
“00:0F:3D:62:60:7E” -86
“00:1C:B3:19:DE:7E” -91
“00:0D:88:C5:13:E9″ -89
“00:1C:B3:2A:C9:C4″ -88
“00:12:17:A5:DC:31″ -83
“00:17:FA:33:AD:90″ -87
“00:80:C8:0A:C7:F1″ -89
“00:11:95:04:01:75″ -89
“00:19:D2:5F:BE:ED” -89
“00:19:E3:DA:0C:2B” -91
“00:0F:3D:62:5A:2D” -86
“00:1C:BF:90:E0:A5″ -88
“00:13:46:0D:44:1C” -88
“00:13:46:13:CC:FA” -88
“00:10:BE:00:A8:A9″ -90
“00:10:BE:00:C2:C0″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:DF:78″ -88
“00:10:BE:00:BD:9F” -89
“00:11:95:4B:11:FF” -88
“00:11:95:04:00:43″ -89
“00:13:E8:76:AA:CF” -88
“00:12:17:8A:41:58″ -86
“00:10:BE:00:A5:24″ -81
“00:19:E3:DA:4F:9D” -86
“00:0D:88:C5:0E:1E” -87
“00:1D:4F:DD:32:ED” -89
“00:15:00:13:A1:62″ -89
“00:1E:C2:B4:7A:63″ -85
“00:10:BE:00:BF:9E” -87
“00:1C:B3:79:CF:45″ -90
“00:19:D2:33:94:09″ -91
“00:18:41:23:F6:CA” -87
“00:16:DC:50:9C:2C” -89
“00:11:95:04:01:9C” -89
“00:0D:88:C5:10:B5″ -89
“00:12:F0:29:2E:EC” -88
“00:1C:B3:0E:20:39″ -88
“00:12:F0:60:74:EB” -84
“00:0F:3D:08:49:B0″ -92
“00:0F:3D:62:59:94″ -88
“00:0F:3D:38:34:6A” -88
“00:10:BE:00:C2:DD” -88
“00:13:46:0D:46:44″ -85
“00:17:F2:EC:0D:8D” -90
“00:0B:7D:1A:4B:94″ -89
“00:0F:3D:08:4D:6A” -89
“00:11:95:4B:14:4F” -88
“00:1B:77:CD:72:37″ -89
“00:13:46:0D:45:76″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:C2:BD” -83
“00:1D:4F:35:C5:EF” -90
“00:16:CE:6C:69:B5″ -88
“00:1D:E0:4F:86:0F” -88
“00:1C:B3:64:DC:A5″ -90
“00:10:BE:00:BF:29″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:A5:30″ -89
“00:13:46:0D:44:2C” -88
“00:10:BE:00:C8:C0″ -84
“00:0F:3D:08:49:C6″ -88
“00:0D:88:A0:87:EC” -88
“00:18:DE:B0:23:67″ -84
“00:0F:3D:62:61:56″ -87
“00:0D:88:C5:0E:2A” -84
“00:10:BE:00:A7:95″ -85
“00:0D:88:C5:0B:1C” -87
“00:A0:F8:D0:8E:E5″ -86
“00:0D:88:C4:FF:96″ -87
“00:18:41:41:49:AB” -86
“00:18:DE:69:8B:DB” -87
“00:13:46:0D:43:47″ -87
“00:1E:52:75:6C:1E” -72
“00:10:C6:3D:AE:16″ -82
“00:19:E3:0F:4F:2C” -87
“00:10:BE:00:BF:6B” -89
“00:1D:FD:5F:2D:98″ -89
“00:02:8A:9E:2C:6A” -88
“00:01:E6:96:A4:55″ -86
“00:11:95:04:00:BC” -87
“00:0D:88:C5:00:38″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:A5:23″ -88
“00:0F:3D:62:6A:82″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:A7:50″ -88
“00:1B:77:5C:16:B9″ -84
“00:16:6F:3E:23:FF” -87
“00:0F:3D:67:FE:81″ -88
“00:1E:C2:F3:F7:FA” -85
“00:15:70:5B:FB:23″ -89
“00:10:BE:00:E1:45″ -88
“00:10:BE:00:A8:63″ -87
“00:1C:B3:BA:97:8E” -88
“00:1C:B3:37:F2:A4″ -88
“00:13:46:0D:44:F2″ -85
“00:1E:C2:E9:3A:AD” -89
“00:0F:3D:68:02:85″ -86
“00:0D:88:C5:12:EB” -89
“00:10:BE:00:A7:81″ -88
“00:19:79:98:FC:C6″ -89
“00:13:46:0D:45:DA” -87
“00:10:C6:3D:AE:03″ -87
“00:10:BE:00:A5:46″ -86
“00:1D:FD:7C:23:97″ -85
“00:1E:C2:27:D1:27″ -88
“00:10:BE:00:AA:46″ -87
“00:10:BE:00:BF:30″ -86
“00:10:BE:00:A8:5A” -88
“00:0D:88:C5:07:DF” -87
“00:1B:77:B7:E0:D6″ -85
“00:1C:B3:24:F9:08″ -88
“00:10:BE:00:C3:0A” -90
“00:0F:3D:62:62:2F” -89
“00:0F:3D:68:02:AE” -88
“00:0F:3D:68:01:60″ -88
“00:10:BE:00:C2:BC” -87
“00:10:BE:00:A7:5C” -89
“00:19:E3:D8:F0:41″ -88
“00:0D:88:C5:09:75″ -81
“00:13:46:13:BF:16″ -86
“00:13:46:13:BE:F8″ -88
“00:1B:63:D8:5E:AA” -88
“00:0D:88:C5:09:7B” -90
“00:0D:88:C5:0D:67″ -89
“00:1F:5B:6B:5B:EE” -89
“00:0F:3D:62:61:65″ -87
“00:15:00:43:22:11″ -88
“00:10:BE:00:A7:66″ -85
“00:16:6F:0D:42:06″ -90
“00:1D:D9:0C:2D:C4″ -88
“00:13:CE:43:0D:5C” -84
“00:17:AB:50:22:C0″ -63
“00:1B:63:EA:3F:45″ -89
“00:19:7E:4D:CC:78″ -89
“00:1E:C2:26:85:58″ -91
“00:1B:63:E9:6A:45″ -87
“00:1F:3A:11:BC:11″ -90
“00:20:4A:89:CC:92″ -86
“00:10:BE:00:A7:5D” -87
“00:0D:88:C5:11:B6″ -86
“00:10:BE:00:A6:E3″ -84
“00:10:BE:00:A4:83″ -87
“00:13:46:0D:44:34″ -88
“00:0F:F8:57:5E:3F” -87
“00:0D:88:C5:0E:B0″ -89
“00:0F:3D:62:62:7E” -89
“00:18:41:3F:F7:86″ -76

Surely the one true teaching we can derive from the Second World War is that one should never fuck with physicists.

Seriously.

(this is dedicated to Laurie Anderson)

I’ve seen enough of
Propane and Nomex
Glycerine and sound effects
Accomplished with insects
Sequins and excess
They leave me cold
There’s no meaning anyway
I express my individuality
By looking just the same

I’m walking on your pop screen this time
It’s hotter than a cookie sheet at gas mark nine
It’s the only flat surface I could find
At the time
It didn’t rhyme
It didn’t seem to matter
The cumulative dose is no risk to your health
The damage it does is minor
At these levels

What did you expect?
Everybody’s annoying, making too much noise
Polar ice and polarised mirrorshades
Mirrors, Hades
Boys and girls, gentlemen and ladies
How much is this going to cost me?
Disposal is guaranteed
The deposit is the fee
The data is the message

You might feel emotional
This is my devotional
Am I irrational? I can’t tell
Is it real? We all steal
Real artists thieve
Some other loser’s songs
I’ve lost track of how I feel
I’ve dropped a connection
What’s the deal?

Entering the glide slope
Everyone’s got the next step
Everyone seems to be on the beam
Everyone seems to know what it means
Everyone knows they’ll pair off one day
Everyone knows they’ll find their one and only

We’re all loving some stranger’s song
It’s the only place we all belong
If you don’t know the words then just play along
Play along, kid along, fake it, shake it, make it
Break it
Did you break it?
It was like that when I arrived
The only thing better than being real
Is being real popular

Spare a thought for the bottom of the barrel
Spare a thought for the recessive allele
Spare a thought for the protein loaded
Spare a thought for the unexploded
Spare a thought for the outmoded
Spare any cutter for an old-ex-
Spare any time for a philo-
tele-
techno-
prefix-vangelist
Vandal at the edge of forever
Just jacking off til the Singularity comes
Waiting to blossom
Fire and sequins
Firing sequence
Lost eloquence
Last orders
Last rites
NUL byte
Ctrl-Z
EOF.

Don’t forget to turn off your set.

Siesta - Real Time - Real Time Mellifluous beats react with a flowing, trickling bassline to get into your underwear. Not a dance experience, but a more relaxed thing, insisting on dancing on that hypothalamic thing that keeps you all down to earth. Highly recommended for those of you who want New Year’s Eve to be deep, crisp and even. The rest of the album’s great too. Lovely.

How would it be to look at the sky and just see light dots on black?
How would it be to stand on a mountain and see only a horizon?
How would it be to look at the moon and just see a beige circle?

Tsar Bomba - Function Creep - Conelrad. Yes, you read it right, this album is available gratis from that there link. This is soundscape ambient, intense and broad, reaching from the lowest lows to the highest highs. You don’t need me to tell you what this is like- go and listen. Rockin’.

Lucky Man - Urban Hymns - The Verve.  Okay, so the Verve were awful, and Urban Hymns had aspirations way beyond its rather staid rock means, but this song is well constructed, solid Nineties stuff.  I like it, anyway, and this is my pick, so yah boo sucks to anyone who disagrees.  An ancestor to the derivative, overly-self-consciously lo-fi sound of horrible, terrible, no-good-at-all bands like Franz Ferdinand and the execrable Hives?  That you’ll have to decide for yourself.

Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick - Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Solid rock complements silly lyrics in a wide range of languages for a track no collection should be without. And after all, isn’t music the one thing that separates us and the cetaceans from animals? There are some people who think birds sing, but really it’s just a lot of whistling. This is a love song for music. Hit me!

Weak - Paranoid & Sunburnt - Skunk Anansie.  Is it punk?  No.  The close-harmony singing from amazing front-being Skin isn’t punk, it’s classic hair-metal (though, of course, Skin doesn’t have any hair, and may in fact be from another planet).  The lyrics aren’t at all shabby, either, and there’s an edge to the whole thing that just stops it being pure rawk and turns it into something… else.  You’ll try to sing along, but you’ll never reach the dizzying heights of the lead vocal.  A good helping of thrashy guitar and a socially aware lyric make it a weirdly alien production;  not really fitting any genre.  You’ll rock out anyway.

Woops, I was busy on Sunday so I didn’t write a pick.

In penance, please allow me to reward your auditory senses with this Monday morning pick:

Dry The Rain - The 3 EPs - The Beta Band.  Masterful multi-part work and scratchmonkey rhythms groove into an almost acid bassline, all acousticky and that.  Mellow, soulful and every inch a classic.  If you don’t own a copy of The 3 EPs, what is wrong with you? Go out and buy it immediately or sooner.  Beautiful.

Babies - Countdown - Pulp.  Okay, I admit, I’m not sure which album this track’s on, but it’s a classic.  Cocker’s angsty Shatneresque vocals and twisted lyrics combine effortlessly with precise execution and an oddly ‘big band’ feeling to condense the schadenfreude of the collapsing 1990s into a song that simultaneously manages to be sick and uplifting.  Did Jarvis really do this stuff?  Is it just a song?  Whatever, it’s a great track.  Listen and enjoy.

Voyager - SWP. I’m fairly sure this song is in French. The vocoded vocal yarbles into the piano lead nicely, but be careful not to fall asleep for five hours like I did today. Mellow and absolutely precise, this song is planned to perfection.

Pearly* (Running from Demons) - How Am I Driving - Radiohead.  Just for a moment, there, after OK Computer’s unbelievable awesomeness, but before the even more mindblowing transformation that was to come, it looked like, just maybe, Radiohead had shot their wad and there wasn’t any more to come.

Oh, how wrong can you be?  How Am I Driving and Com Lag, two EPs of many, proved that even Radiohead’s B sides could do no wrong.  Indeed, could they even be said to have B sides?  Alright, alright.  This isn’t a Pyramid Song or even a Myxomatosis but it’s easily better than anything on Pablo Honey.  And I loved that album.  Find yourself a quiet asylum and stick How Am I Driving on.  I promise you’ll love it.  Jonny’s crooning, wailing guitar is underpinned by a static, solid, dependable beat, and of course Thom’s amazing falsetto works.  She runs from the third world again.  Love it.

More Life in a Tramp’s Vest - Word Gets Around - Stereophonics.  Back to my roots.  Kelly may be-  and, indeed, is-  a complete tool, but his voice is amazing and the rest of the band is sharp too.  Lyrics a step above the Oasis-esque cat-sat-on-the-mattery that one might expect from a band from Ponty.  This is a dose of good, solid rock, two minutes twenty of it that will leave you wishing there was more where that came from.  Rockin’!

I never could get the hang of Tuesdays. Have something mellow.

Seal - We Are The Night - Chemical Brothers. What language is that? The silky, muttering, intoxicated vocal mixes with a minimal beat and an insistent bassline to make the album- and the gig- for me. No trace of harshness, even when the beat jumps back in, and some soaring waveforms push to the second verse. What’s it all about? Better ask the Chemical Brothers. I have no idea, and lyrics don’t seem to be forthcoming. Just sit back and cuckoo along.

Yet another monkey Monday, and more music joy for you.

Toxygene - Orblivion - The Orb.  A long, slow intro bounces gradually into a bouncy, catchy downtempo beat that will get your couchlock shifted and your dancing feet back on.  While this track is intensely reminiscent of Jean-Jacques Perrey’s Futurama-esque EVA, the lovely babbling vocal samples make this a far jollier experience than the rather sterile French sound of Perrey’s one hit wonder.  Expert psychonauts The Orb mutate the song throughout its five and a half minute lifespan, giving plenty of places to drop something new and lots of outs for the inexperienced downtempist.  Lovely stuff.

Hey ho hi there pop fans. Nowthen nowthen. What’s Game Cat got for her kittlings? Two messed up songs for a messed up weekend. Dancing on a Thursday can only mean that Saturday’s the night.

The Fruit - Sander Kleinenberg. What’s that? Sounds like any old techno? I don’t care. Chunky, chopped beats and staccato cymbals, robbed of all decay, frame this filthy, buzzing bassline that just won’t go away. A breathy, campish vocal feeds into a bouncy synth melody that keeps coming for a DJ-friendly seven minutes. Many resolutions and some really nice wibbly stuff in the middle make this my pick for party night.

After that, you’ll be all partied out by Sunday. Recharge your fuel cells and prepare for a thermal transfer. Make a visual record of I Need Something Stronger - UNKLE. THX-1138 samples and a technodystopian intro run your rotors up for the motorcycle chase that follows. Somehow it seems disrespectful not to dance to this one, and you’ll find yourself wishing you were Mandroyd. A glitchy, tweaky beat wiggles you into a new spin, and the theme repeats itself, all radio chatter and techno noise. Hidden depths await, and the track pays back even more on repeated listenings. Kicking raucous guitar samples distort through the clean, untouched-by-human-hands motif. Hot stuff!

Your humble correspondant is tired and aching today after a hot night of music; Matthew Dear comes highly recommended if you like that sort of thing (I do). Your pick today comes courtesy of the Madchester sound.

Fool’s Gold - The Stone Roses Muffled screaming and twisted argument slides into a ridiculously fast tomtom track and you just know this track’s going to be something special; the almost deadpan, calm and collected vocal soothes the fast-paced beat. The gold road’s sure a long road. These boots may have been made for walking but this is all about dancing, even though there’s really just a bassline and some drums. Slip this into your rock set and get people up; drop it into your house set and watch people get all condensed and intense. Down, down, down da down down down. Lovely stuff.

I Wanna Be Your Dog - Nude & Rude - Iggy Pop.  So messed up, I want you here.  Never before has a song about oral sex and bestiality been so compelling.  You really believe that Iggy knew what he was talking about;  haven’t we all wanted to give up control now and then?  Well come on!  Iggy’s raw vocal never clashes with the fuzzed-out guitar or, oddly, the sleighbells.  You’ve got to love it.

Party In My Pants - Junky Trunk - Sexual Chocolate. Okay, okay. This isn’t my usual style, but Robot Head’s played it so many times that Heroic can’t get it out of her (somewhat confused, addled, but not robotic) head. A vaguely pervy vocal sample combines with classic house beat to produce a really more-ish song. Certainly Robot Head seems to be more addicted to it than anything. So listen and try not to dance too much. The other people in your office are staring at you.